Conversation Disconnect

Have you ever been having a conversation and suddenly thought, “We’re having two different conversations!”?

Now what? First, stop talking and think about what the conversation was meant to be or to achieve – for each of you.

Ask yourself: Why are we talking? What’s it about? What are the expectations? Are we on the same page? Do we need to change gears?

If you aren’t sure, say so. Be curious. Ask to clarify what you’re both about, so you aren’t butting heads or going off in different directions.

What’s the point or intent for each of you?

• To problem-solve? If so, does the other person have the same goal? Or even the same understanding of the nature of the problem?
  
  
• To exchange information, facts, ideas, updates, opinions?
  
  
• To give/get advice? [Don’t give it without permission. Advice-giving is annoying to someone who doesn’t want it. It can break the connection.]
  
  
• To vent or be heard? By someone who will listen to understand, withhold judgment, empathize? Without interrupting, gainsaying, advising?
  
  
• To socialize, get acquainted, form a bond? [Sensitive topics can lead to disagreement and arguments. Unless you’re both on the same side.]

You can direct or redirect a conversation without trying to control it or the other person. Note your own goals but stay open. You might learn something that could take the conversation in a whole new, more productive, direction.

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