Laughter Lightens the Load

When I was in the 8th grade, my family moved in the middle of the school year. New teacher, new students. Shortly after I arrived, the assignment was to choose a book to read and report on it before the class. I had never had to do that. It was terrifying. I wrote and rewrote constantly. It had to be perfect. I didn’t want to look like an idiot. I was used to getting top grades. This was a new challenge and I didn’t welcome it. Sure, I could bury my head in my paper and read it. Everyone did that. I didn’t have to look at the audience. But it had to sound great! I wanted to get a good grade, and I wanted everyone to like me. The stakes were high.

The big day arrived. My heart was pounding. The teacher called me up front. I didn’t want to go. Yet I did want to, because I’d worked hard on my report and thought it was very good. I stood before the class, glanced at them, looked down at my page and opened my mouth to speak. All that came out was a squawk! It was awful. I didn’t know what to do. Everyone stared at me. Then, after a few seconds, everyone began to laugh. I couldn’t help it – I laughed too. Then the teacher laughed. Suddenly, it was okay and I started again. This time I got through it. It was so much easier after we laughed. It was like the worst had happened but nobody died. I’m sure the rest of the class all felt better too. I had taken a hit and survived, gone on to do a good job. That could have been any of them up there.

Although years of shyness and stage fright followed, there were other incidents along the way that began to gradually push me past my limits and give me confidence. But, I never forgot the day I squawked in class and made us all laugh. I could perform before a new audience and not have to be perfect. Shared laughter was a great way to loosen up speaker and audience. Years later, in Toastmasters, I discovered I could make my audience laugh – without squawking – unless I was speaking about birds! I loved making people laugh! It made me laugh. It’s hard to be afraid when you’re laughing.

All of that lead me to seek more things to laugh about with others as a way of relaxing and connecting. And it lead me to begin coaching other speakers. Remembering my jerky journey to confidence, I knew many others had felt the same way to varying degrees. Training had to be fun. A way to tap into emotions and passions, to turn nerves into nerve and excitement. A way of turning outward to share new ideas. A way to feel the fear and do it anyway – because it was important!

When you’re preparing to speak to a person or group, find something (even if unrelated) to make you laugh – or at least smile - just before the event. Even if your subject is basically serious. It loosens tight muscles and mind. It replaces fear and tension with curiosity and helps you come across as authentic and interesting. Make eye contact and look for signs of positive connection – leaning in, a nod, a smile – even a laugh.

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